self-help books pain points

“But all I've ever found has been boring, repetitive, and pretty useless books.”

“They are very boring to read, repeat the same idea and sentences a hundred times, offer little to none real practical advice or exercises and are way too long.”

“they are incredibly boring. For example, I started reading "Think and Grow Rich". Super interesting ideas, but the book feels way too long.”

“There is a chapter about turning desires into reality by having faith in them. This could be easily be condensed in 2-3 paragraphs with some examples. But no, I am stuck with endless pages of a random story on a random company with way too many useless details.”

“Every self help book is like reading the first half of a shitty recipe blog post followed by a clickbait list article over and over for 200 pages.”

“I have found that self-help books tend to be a whole lotta words to say absolutely nothing. They have so many filler paragraphs and repetitive ideas that the book itself becomes useless.”

“Any valuable information is buried under buzzwords and backpatting, and theres so much bloat that actually remembering anything is impossible.”

“They are books showing men how to succeed in everything; they are written by men who cannot even succeed in writing books.”

“The padding issue is real!”

“Most self help books are garbage where the author got rich from hawking their book not due to any actual skill.”

“I'm 34 y/o guy stuck in a bad phase. I was quite disciplined half a decade ago till anxiety and depression took a toll on my life and career. I'm crawling my way out of this hole yet struggling year after year. I'm 25 lbs heavier than the standard weight, stuck at a career crossroads, and lonely. I tried reading a few self-help books again to set better goals and lead a better life but it just wore me out mentally. There's so much to do and I already feel lost.”

“i've read so many self help books, and it had messed up my mind I started reading self help books to improve myself. I have read 35+ self help books. Now, I find myself introspecting and figuring out what is wrong with me ALL THE TIME. This makes me anxious. It is so draining because there is always some aspect of myself that I want to improve.”

“How can I stop trying to improve myself all the time and be in peace with my flaws and inadequacies?”

“How can I not get overwhelmed and indecisive by all the suggestions and choices? It is a big problem of mine that I need to work on.”

“Self help books are basically useless since they give universal prescriptions for individuals with specific histories of young childhood, socio-economic factors, teenage angst… It is just impossible to rely on a universality when so many nuanced factors are involved.”

“I struggle with self-help books because many seem to lack diverse perspectives, particularly from BIPOC voices. Most are written by authors who are predominantly white and come from privileged socioeconomic backgrounds. On top of that, self-help books rarely reflect neurodivergent experiences.”

“The solutions offered by psychology and spirituality tend to be difficult ("let go of your attachment to material things") or require life changes ("it's okay to cut abusive people out of your life") or both ("there is no way to peace; peace is the way"). Not everyone is ready for the hard answers.”

“I've tried dozens of the top rated self-help books and I haven't found a single book which doesn't seem like a money grabber once you actually read it.”

“Controversial opinion maybe, but I think self-help books are usually (not always) something someone wrote to make a quick buck.”

“Padding is a common trademark of the self-help text, there's gonna be a lot of that in the genre.”

“They are simply made to make you feel inadequate so that you keep buying more books.”

“That’s because 9 times out of 10 self-help authors have no other qualifications than being self-appointed “self-help gurus”. In other words, people who are very talented at marketing themselves as being wiser than your everyday person when speaking absolute nonsense.”

“I've read other non fiction books like "Sapiens" or "Surely you're joking Mr.Feynman!" which have been both enjoyable to read and have expanded my knowledge.”

“I feel like self-help books are always just the same exact information packaged differently. I haven’t really read one that told me something I hadn’t heard before”

“Nah because no one can tell me what to do. Kidding aside, I’d rather learn from fiction or memoirs.”

“I suppose this will sound stupid, but I use fiction as my self-help book. Reading about character choices and comparing and contrasting with my own and their results.”

“For me, it's non fiction. A biography about John Adams or Thomas Jefferson give me a better outlook on how to live life than a traditional self help book.”

“Most are thinly veiled toxic positivity. So many of them at least hint at some spiritual or cosmic support system or speak in woo woo language which really pisses me off.”

“I think many self-help books are written from an ableist, privileged position and they often promote toxic positivity as the cure for everything. As if just being positive and pretending everything is fine will solve everything - thereby implying you don't struggle with any "real" challenges.”

“The solutions offered by psychology and spirituality tend to be difficult ("let go of your attachment to material things") or require life changes ("it's okay to cut abusive people out of your life") or both ("there is no way to peace; peace is the way"). Not everyone is ready for the hard answers.”

“I tend to prefer books written by scientists or people who are experts in their subject rather than by typical self-help authors.”

“Others offer some advice which is backed by science (For Example: "Atomic Habits" by James Clear), but it seems like they are stretching a 8000 word article into a 70000 word book.”

“I particularly enjoy books with a scientific background.”

“You might enjoy The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal. I found it be meticulously researched (she's a psychology professor at Stanford) and full of practical actions to take instead of beating yourself up for lacking self-control.”

“I have no patience nor energy for self help books because I always read through them and think I already knew what I needed to do, the problem being that I wasn't actually doing it.”

“Reading them is not going to change your life unless you follow the rules or ways written in the book.”

“You can read all the self-help books that you want. But if you don't actually do something about it, nothing will happen.”

“My standard practice is to think deeply while reading them, meditating on the contents, letting the positivity of the words wash over me, planning how I will make changes in my life using the wisdom therein. And then when I finish the book, I do jack shit.”

“You only need to read one book: „The Power of Now“ by Eckhart Tolle.”

“I recommend any and all of Brené Brown’s books, they build on each other starting with The Gifts of Imperfection but you can definitely read them in any order you like.”

“Atomic Habits is probably the best one 12 Rules for Life by JP Make Your Bed by Admiral McRaven The Four Agreements The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck The Daily Laws by Robert Greene Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey is inspiring and super entertaining too”

“The problem is, I don't want to waste time reading books that don't directly address the issues related to my life.”

“I want to list a few points below that I want the book/s to specifically address: Learning how to genuinely love myself first, so that I can truly love someone else Finding my true passion in life, perhaps by utilizing my current skillset/interests How to stay motivated with weight loss and actually reach my goal weight”

“I'm looking for books about overcoming such feelings and rediscovering motivation/purpose. However, I've never been able to get through a self-help book. The ones I've read have felt excessively preachy or cringey.”

“Most of them are ones my parents bought for me under the assumption that they'd help with various issues--Asperger's, anxiety, depression, various social skills, finding a career path and other work-related matters, dating, and religion, among others.”

“A self-help book that *you* don't choose for yourself is likely a self-help book that will not help you.”

“I would avoid giving someone else a self help book! A) the clue is in the name - they don’t work if you don’t choose to read them and act on the advice, and b) it’s like saying “there’s something wrong with you, you’re not good enough as you are, you need to change.””

“I always read through them and think I already knew what I needed to do, the problem being that I wasn't actually doing it.”

“I think at some point self help books become a non working placebo, they make you think you are getting better but if you just read, thinking reading will magically fix you, you are fooling yourself.”

“You can read all the self-help books that you want. But if you don't actually do something about it, nothing will happen.”

“I prefer the gregory hayes version. Ive read some of the penguin classics and other translations and theyre really wordy and using old english because they were translated in the 1800s.”

“Do you think it's readable by someone who doesn't speak English as their first language? I'm from the Netherlands and I would never recommend anyone who has learned Dutch as a second language to tackle any book older than 100 years.”

“They are simply made to make you feel inadequate so that you keep buying more books.”

“I always feel like these books could take out the 12 or 15 pages worth of actual advice they have and sell that instead as a much better and more useful title.”